How About a Nice Hawaiian Punch?

I get miserably hung over about twice a year. Today was one of those days.

When I am hung over, I do not want food, I do not want water, I do not want coffee. I only want one thing: Hawaiian Punch. You can ask many of the people who have gone on quests for Hawaiian Punch with me during my times of need that I do not settle for much else unless I have to. If my punch cannot be found Powerade will do, but Gatorade will not. I'll take an Orange Hi-C but not orange juice. In other words, I am picky.

Needless to say, when I made my pilgrimage to CVS today to pick up a prescription and aforementioned beverage I was devastated to find neither Hawaiian Punch nor any of my standard alternatives. I was forced to settle for....Grape Vitamin Water.

For those who are curious, Grape Vitamin Water will not be repeated as an alternative hangover remedy again, but that is neither here nor there. What I really want to talk about is this....

As I am sitting in the little waiting area by the pharmacy, a man walks up to the counter. He is in his mid-30s and is wearing a pair of pajama pants with bottles of Corona surfing on them. He has a basket with an array of cold medicines in it. He asks to speak with the pharmacist (this is one of those places that you can ask the pharmacist medical questions).

The pharmacist emerges and he explains that he has a cold and he was hoping she could recommend an over the counter medicine for him. She goes through his options and explains which one relieve which symptoms and such and the man is summarily disatisfied.

"So none of these really make the cold go away faster?"

"No, they just relieve some of the symptoms typically associated with colds."

"But none of these will, you know, cure it and make it go away?"

The pharmacist is a) clearly not amused and b) clearly has to explain this to 10 people a day. And at this point, I am completely blown away because I know I tend to overestimate the general intelligence of people, but who on Earth manages to go 35 years without ever hearing that there is no cure for the common cold??